#10 Giant Gummy Bear


Stefan Murza of Portsmouth, Virginia and George Spector of New York, New York show us that genuine American innovation is still alive. They’ve invented a method of producing a Giant Gummy Bear made of sparkling gelatin substance. They received United States Patent #5,338,245 for their invention on August 16, 1994. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s actually edible.

The patent is classified in US Class 446/267 AMUSEMENT DEVICES: TOYS / HAVING ENCLOSED LIQUID.

See this patent in Google Patents


#9 Easy Burial Container

Donald Scruggs from Chino, CA was granted US Patent 7,631,404 on December 15, 2009 for an “easy” screw-type burial container.

The basic idea is this: the dearly departed is placed into a giant, hollowed out screw and screwed vertically into the ground, thereby eliminating the need for a backhoe as well as taking up less ground space and allowing for more burials per square meter in the cemetery. As seen in Fig. 27, one can even opt for an underwater interment with a little fish or a duck on top of the container. The goal of the invention is to reduce labor costs associated with a burial as well as allowing for burials in areas in of a cemetery that were previously not usable. I wonder if this could be a boon for grave robbers. Seems to me that anything that can be screwed can be unscrewed fairly easily. Wait, do grave robbers even exist anymore?

What do you think? Would you be okay with you or a loved one being buried in a giant screw?

The patent on Google Patents

#8 Coded Swimwear

Imagine, you’re on a beautiful and exotic tropical beach and not one of the dashing specimens surrounding you speaks your language. Your problems are over, dude, if you pick up some of this elite swimwear from inventors Robert Dickey and Ruth Stevens of Cobble Hill, British Columbia, Canada. By mixing and matching differently patterned pieces, the wearer can convey various maritime-inspired messages to other beach-goers who are in the know. Possible messages include: “I am dragging my anchor”, “I will attempt to rescue you with whip and breeches buoy”, “you should be ready to receive my towing hauser”, and even “spaceship is down and requires immediate assistance”. Thanks to these innovative Canucks, you’ll never again be frustrated with a beach language barrier.

US Patent Application Publication 2006/0010556 A1 was filed on 17 August 2005.

Google Patents link

#7 – Self Defense Memo Pad


Are journalists often attacked by angry mobs in Japan? Ninjas? There must be some reason why Yoshiro Nakamats of Tokyo decided to invent this combination notepad / brass knuckles. Yoshiro’s application was filed on October 8, 1996 and granted U.S. Patent 5,823,572 on October 20, 1998. From the abstract:

The memo pad has a plurality of edges and an indentation in at last one of the edges adapted to accept at least part of at least one finger or the victim’s hand such that the indentation facilitates the victim’s capability to firmly grasp and hold the memo pad in the victim’s hand, whereby the memo pad can thereby be used by the victim as a self defense weapon to ward off perpetrators.

The inventor also stresses that this notepad makes it “possible to provide protection from a mugger and also to quickly and easily write a record or a message without failure of missing or forgetting significant information under a stressful situation.”

I have a whole new respect for journalists stationed in Japan.

Figure 1

U.S. Patent #6,525,329 describes a method and device for detecting U.S. currency that has been hidden within the walls of a building. The patent was filed on October 1, 2000 by inventor David Berman of Staten Island, NY. This invention could come in handy if you live in an old house, especially one that was lived in by paranoid octogenarians, or others who wouldn’t want to trust their cash to a bank. After some successful treasure hunting within the Bank of Drywall, this device could even pay for itself!

Google Patents

#5 – Novelty Ski Hat


Inventor Constantine Sargentini of Lindenhurst, New York must have been struck with a moment of inspiration when he filed for this patent on June 17, 1985. US Patent #4,601,070 describes a stylish and functional “Novelty Ski Hat” with a little extra touch of style. The wearer of said beanie is imbued with an appearance of having been cranially impaled by a ski pole.

Be warned though, wearing such headwear is tantamount to crying wolf. Once skiiers become desensitized to seeing others whiz by with an aluminum pole firmly embedded into their cranium, what will happen when some powder-lover actually has an unfortunate encounter with a ski pole?

See this patent on Google: http://www.google.com/patents?id=BMk6AAAAEBAJ

#4 Godly Powers

Published US Patent application 2007/0035812 titled “Godly Powers” comes to us from inventor Christopher Anthony Roller in Burnsville, Minnesota.  His application for a patent was filed on July 29, 2005 and according to the first line of his abstract, Chris himself is is a “godly entity”. In claim 8 of his application, Mr. Roller cites David Copperfield as proof that such “Godly Powers” are, in fact, real.

“Chris Roller wants exclusive right to the ethical use and financial gain in the use of godly powers on planet Earth.” Is that too much to ask? Potential licensees of Mr. Roller’s (as yet unpatented) invention will be happy to know that the commission he requires “could range from 0-100% of product price, depending on the product’s value and use”. Regardless, I like it.

Also an interesting read, Roller’s website: http://www.mytrumanshow.com/.

See this document on Google Patent Search: http://www.google.com/patents?id=cdaYAAAAEBAJ